Are you thinking about adopting? There are thousands of children placed with adoptive parents every year in the U.S. and other countries, so you're not alone.
Adoption can provide a very special connection between a child and his or her adoptive parents. However, there are often sad circumstances surrounding adoptions. Some adoptive parents have been struggling for years to conceive a child only to deal with the heartbreak of infertility or miscarriage. Many children needing adoption have special needs including physical impairments or a history of abuse or neglect.
A sizable portion of adoptions take place amongst relatives or by step parents. Whatever the reason you are considering adoption, be prepared that for all the joys there are also difficulties ahead. Your adopted child needs you to be prepared and eager to create a new family. Ask yourself these questions as a means of determining your readiness for adoption:
- Why are you considering adoption? Are you hoping to save a marriage or fit in with friends who have children? Or are you committed to the idea of parenting regardless of how your life may change in the future?
- Can you handle the idea of not being genetically related to your child? Do you think it may impact your relationship with them? What if you eventually have genetic children of your own, will you still feel as committed to an adopted child?
- Are you able to handle the adoption process? The interviewing and waiting process can be daunting. There may be age restrictions or other concerns that affect your ability to adopt easily. What if you cannot adopt an infant? What if the child is from a different culture, race or country?
- Have you done research on special needs or transracial adoption? Could you handle the financial costs of a child with disabilities? Would you make lifestyle changes for a transracial adoption to help them feel comfortable and build self-esteem?
- Is parenting an adoptive child important to you? Have you always wanted to adopt or are you only recently considering the idea of adoption? Have you spoken to adoptive parents, known someone who was adopted or sought out information and advice about adopting?
The adoption process can sometimes be a trial, but the experience of adopting can be the most rewarding of your life. Continue to learn more about adoption, the process, cost and options available. Surrounding yourself with people who support your efforts will go a long way towards finding your adoptive child and helping him or her become part of your family.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
How to Help Your Adopted Child Build Self Esteem
Are you adopting a child from another culture, racial background or country? While all adopted children need to feel loved and special when adoptions place children with parents who have a very different background from them it poses an extra obstacle to feeling accepted.
Children have a natural need to identify with their parents. If speaking a different language, learning new customs and adjusting to a new family are not enough, some children are visible minorities in their new family or even their entire community or country. It takes love, patience and foresight to help these children build self esteem despite the obvious difficulties they will face.
Here are five areas that adoptive parents can take into consideration to help their child adjust.
BE OPEN ABOUT DIFFERENCES
Children, especially if they are from a different racial background, will notice from a young age that they are different from their parents or community. Young children may not be troubled by this, but it is a good time to build up their confidence in themselves and their connection to you when they point these differences out.
Praise your child's differences but counter that by identifying similarities between them and you. Maybe skin color or hair texture is different, but a love of music, a sense of humor or athletic ability can be shared.
INTRODUCING CULTURE
Introducing other cultures to your child shows them how you appreciate different backgrounds. Include connections to their culture by means of festivals, food, music and meeting people in the community and introduce other cultures as well.
If a trip to their birth country can be arranged when they are old enough it would be rewarding for everyone in the family. It may give you a different perspective to be a minority in their home land.
LANGUAGE
If your child is already speaking another language when you adopt them you will have an additional challenge in learning to communicate. You may also wish for your child to retain their original language.
Knowing others who speak the language, adopting siblings or children who speak the same language or learning the language yourself are all positive steps to maintaining that cultural link.
ADULT ROLE MODELS
Your children will look to you first as a role model. However, if your child is likely to face trials and discrimination that you have never experienced it would be to their benefit to have an adult acquaintance of the same background as a role model as well.
Strong role models will help your child find acceptance and teach them tools for handling hardships. You may empathize but it's not possible to truly understand what they are going through or how to handle rejection based on skin color or nationality.
ENCOURAGE TALENTS AND INTERESTS
Every parent wants their child to be confident, but when a child feels different from his peers it can quickly erode self confidence.
Building confidence in other areas of life will help your child handle peer pressure regardless of if they are physically different from their peers or not. Encourage talents or interests by enrolling them in classes or teams outside of school. Support their efforts to fit into peer groups when they express an interest; clothing, activities and recreation that makes them feel part of the group may be areas to consider.
Whatever steps you take to ease your child's introduction to your family, culture and community, it is your unconditional love and devotion that will give your child a firm foundation on which to grow and blossom as an individual. A confident child will handle the issues of being different by knowing they have their family's support and love.
Children have a natural need to identify with their parents. If speaking a different language, learning new customs and adjusting to a new family are not enough, some children are visible minorities in their new family or even their entire community or country. It takes love, patience and foresight to help these children build self esteem despite the obvious difficulties they will face.
Here are five areas that adoptive parents can take into consideration to help their child adjust.
BE OPEN ABOUT DIFFERENCES
Children, especially if they are from a different racial background, will notice from a young age that they are different from their parents or community. Young children may not be troubled by this, but it is a good time to build up their confidence in themselves and their connection to you when they point these differences out.
Praise your child's differences but counter that by identifying similarities between them and you. Maybe skin color or hair texture is different, but a love of music, a sense of humor or athletic ability can be shared.
INTRODUCING CULTURE
Introducing other cultures to your child shows them how you appreciate different backgrounds. Include connections to their culture by means of festivals, food, music and meeting people in the community and introduce other cultures as well.
If a trip to their birth country can be arranged when they are old enough it would be rewarding for everyone in the family. It may give you a different perspective to be a minority in their home land.
LANGUAGE
If your child is already speaking another language when you adopt them you will have an additional challenge in learning to communicate. You may also wish for your child to retain their original language.
Knowing others who speak the language, adopting siblings or children who speak the same language or learning the language yourself are all positive steps to maintaining that cultural link.
ADULT ROLE MODELS
Your children will look to you first as a role model. However, if your child is likely to face trials and discrimination that you have never experienced it would be to their benefit to have an adult acquaintance of the same background as a role model as well.
Strong role models will help your child find acceptance and teach them tools for handling hardships. You may empathize but it's not possible to truly understand what they are going through or how to handle rejection based on skin color or nationality.
ENCOURAGE TALENTS AND INTERESTS
Every parent wants their child to be confident, but when a child feels different from his peers it can quickly erode self confidence.
Building confidence in other areas of life will help your child handle peer pressure regardless of if they are physically different from their peers or not. Encourage talents or interests by enrolling them in classes or teams outside of school. Support their efforts to fit into peer groups when they express an interest; clothing, activities and recreation that makes them feel part of the group may be areas to consider.
Whatever steps you take to ease your child's introduction to your family, culture and community, it is your unconditional love and devotion that will give your child a firm foundation on which to grow and blossom as an individual. A confident child will handle the issues of being different by knowing they have their family's support and love.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)