How to Help Your Adopted Child Build Self Esteem

Are you adopting a child from another culture, racial background or country? While all adopted children need to feel loved and special when adoptions place children with parents who have a very different background from them it poses an extra obstacle to feeling accepted.

Children have a natural need to identify with their parents. If speaking a different language, learning new customs and adjusting to a new family are not enough, some children are visible minorities in their new family or even their entire community or country. It takes love, patience and foresight to help these children build self esteem despite the obvious difficulties they will face.

Here are five areas that adoptive parents can take into consideration to help their child adjust.

BE OPEN ABOUT DIFFERENCES

Children, especially if they are from a different racial background, will notice from a young age that they are different from their parents or community. Young children may not be troubled by this, but it is a good time to build up their confidence in themselves and their connection to you when they point these differences out.

Praise your child's differences but counter that by identifying similarities between them and you. Maybe skin color or hair texture is different, but a love of music, a sense of humor or athletic ability can be shared.

INTRODUCING CULTURE

Introducing other cultures to your child shows them how you appreciate different backgrounds. Include connections to their culture by means of festivals, food, music and meeting people in the community and introduce other cultures as well.

If a trip to their birth country can be arranged when they are old enough it would be rewarding for everyone in the family. It may give you a different perspective to be a minority in their home land.

LANGUAGE

If your child is already speaking another language when you adopt them you will have an additional challenge in learning to communicate. You may also wish for your child to retain their original language.

Knowing others who speak the language, adopting siblings or children who speak the same language or learning the language yourself are all positive steps to maintaining that cultural link.

ADULT ROLE MODELS

Your children will look to you first as a role model. However, if your child is likely to face trials and discrimination that you have never experienced it would be to their benefit to have an adult acquaintance of the same background as a role model as well.

Strong role models will help your child find acceptance and teach them tools for handling hardships. You may empathize but it's not possible to truly understand what they are going through or how to handle rejection based on skin color or nationality.

ENCOURAGE TALENTS AND INTERESTS

Every parent wants their child to be confident, but when a child feels different from his peers it can quickly erode self confidence.

Building confidence in other areas of life will help your child handle peer pressure regardless of if they are physically different from their peers or not. Encourage talents or interests by enrolling them in classes or teams outside of school. Support their efforts to fit into peer groups when they express an interest; clothing, activities and recreation that makes them feel part of the group may be areas to consider.


Whatever steps you take to ease your child's introduction to your family, culture and community, it is your unconditional love and devotion that will give your child a firm foundation on which to grow and blossom as an individual. A confident child will handle the issues of being different by knowing they have their family's support and love.