Helping Your Child Through Their Teenage Years

Some folks say that the "teenage years are the toughest". For you and them! Growing up is a continual process filled with regular highs and lows. As a parent, it's expected. But what can you do to help through the tough times they might face down the road of life? Here are some quick tips for those parents that are struggling to understand their "troubled teens".


COMMUNICATION COUNTS!

While most teens can be pretty "tight-lipped" about many of their complicated issues they might be trying to handle or hash out on their own, simply taking the time to ask them what's bothering them or what's going on can REALLY help. Even if you don't have the best line of communication with your teen, or it has somehow broken down as they have gotten older, most teens are willing, and ready, to open up to you in most cases.

Remember to always LISTEN FIRST to what they have to say. While the topic of discussion may not seem that important in your eyes, teens see everything as a tragedy waiting to happen! To them, what they are going through is almost like the "end of the world" or at least the end of THEIR world. Most teens are self-centered, and so, the entire world as it relates to them, which is pretty much every single aspect of it, revolves around them. At least, in their thought process.

No matter how compelled you might be, DON'T INTERRUPT THEM! Let them get the weight of their concerns or problems off their chest without "butting in" irregardless of how upset you might be at what they are revealing to you. Yes, they are letting you inside their small, strange teen world, so be grateful. It will help to strengthen their trust in you not to EXPLODE on them and further open the line of communication between you both.


UNDERSTANDING AND COMPASSION
After your teen has revealed the crux of their current situation, HOLD YOUR TEMPER, no matter how bad it is. Let them know that despite their actions, you love them without boundary and always will. Try putting yourself into "their shoes" and look at the situation from their vantage point.

Without being too "preachy" explain to them that you too were once a teen and had some rough patches, or made poor choices yourself, but you made it through and so will they. Teens don't like being lectured. They get enough of that in school!

Your goal is to be friendly without being their friend. You are still the parent and as the parent, you MUST hand down disciplinary consequences for their actions. Do your best to not blur this thin line. It will just make things more difficult for you both later on.

Also, remember, that the point here is to let them understand that you are ALWAYS available to listen when they are having problems. And through your life experience you are ready with solutions to those problems.


GET HELP OUTSIDE THE FAMILY
If your teen's particular situation is too much for you to effectively offer a solution or help them, don't be afraid to ask for help elsewhere. There are outstanding organizations out there ready to help. You can find just the right one by searching through the Yellow Pages or doing a topic search online to get in touch with the proper organization.

It's important for the health and well-being of your teen to do everything in your power to help. Also keep in mind that whatever the age, unless your teen is willing to TRY then any outside help you seek will be fruitless.


There are other techniques you can use to "get through" to your teen, but these are some of the most helpful.