Is the regular trip to the neighborhood video store or the downtown multiplex with your child starting to feel like an exercise in parental perplexity? If so, then there is no need to blame yourself. Combined with family-oriented classics, straight-to-video releases and children’s documentaries released by niche production companies, the sheer volume of movies aimed at young audiences is enough to make Mom and Dad long for the good old days of 1960s-era Walt Disney features about animals, princes and paupers, and fairy godmothers. Fortunately, quality children’s films are not limited to movies that star Mickey Mouse or Peter Pan. In fact, there are many children’s movies that not only entertain, but also impart the right values and paint an accurate picture of the world in which we live. The following guide can help you decide which movies are appropriate for your child.
Check the rating or classification. The ratings system used by the Motion Picture Association of America classifies movies based on the amount of violence, sex, nudity, strong language, and drug use your children will see or hear. Ratings offer advance information about movies so that parents can decide what films they want their children to see. However, do not rely on ratings alone to determine whether or not a movie is suitable for your child. Movie reviews in family-friendly publications can be a reliable source of information about film content. When in doubt, watch the movie yourself before taking your child to see it.
Movies must be age-appropriate. Children of different age groups and developmental stages do not respond similarly to visual content. A PG-rated movie may affect a seven-year-old differently than it would a 13-year-old. Make sure that the movie deals with a subject matter that your child is old enough to comprehend. For instance, a movie that discourages violence does not have to be gory or very frightening. Good children’s movies tackle sensitive issues and themes from a child’s point of view, while enhancing the child’s understanding and experience.
Choose movies that present truth and diversity. Movies should expand your child’s horizons and increase their awareness of how people live, relate, and solve problems. Movies with accurate representations of diverse groups of people can provide truthful insights on the different ways that people go about their daily lives. Is the stepmother depicted as a devious, scheming grouch? Does the movie make fun of people with disabilities? Avoid films that reinforce negative stereotypes or make a mockery of diversity.
Examine the kind of values that the movie teaches. Based on film reviews and your own experience of watching the movie, can you identify what values the movie seeks to impart to its young audiences? Good family movies should teach children the importance of honesty, respect, charity, tolerance, and hard work. Does the movie condemn violence as a means to resolve conflicts, or does it glorify crime as an acceptable route to fame and fortune? Quality children’s movies must truthfully show the consequences of the characters’ actions and decisions.
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Monday, December 12, 2005
Video Game Careers
As you begin embarking on your pursuits for higher education, what majors have you considered? Business? Accounting? Computers? Or how about more complex fields such as law or medicine which require additional years of schooling?
Well, if you have a passion for these things then you should go where your heart leads you. But if you're taking these types of majors simply because it seems like the right thing to do, perhaps you should consider a different course of action: majoring in something you TRULY enjoy... something you could do hours on end without feeling like you are working at all. And if you are like many people, this 'something' would be playing video games.
That's right! You can actually get a job creating and/or playing video games. Below is a list of some of the careers available for those with a video game degree.
1) Video Game Tester
This is a position in which you truly would get paid for playing video games. According to Doug Doine, a game tester for Electronic Arts, as a game tester you would "go over different components of a game and look for things that just don't make sense." You would also "break the game," meaning you would "do things a normal user would do and inadvertently see something go wrong."
Doug Doine further adds that video game testing is a good place to start for young people who want to "break into the industry." To get such a position in it is best to have a "passion for gaming" and some educational background. Doug himself has a degree.
2) Programmer
According to Gameinformer Magazine, video game programmers are the "heart and soul" of the industry. They are the ones responsible for creating the code necessary for getting video games to function. And contrary to popular belief, their jobs aren't always easy. Video game programming often involves creating complex functions and algorithms often times more challenging than programs created in Corporate America. Thus a talent for mathematics along with a more analytically-inclined brain are absolute essentials.
Indeed, game programming may not be the appropriate course for everyone seeking a video game career, but if you were deciding to go into the computer field anyway, which job would be more enjoyable... coding the next Halo, or working on a boring, hum-drum piece of no-name software?
3) Animator
Animators are responsible for coordinating the movement of video game characters. Accomplishing requires more than drawing something on a piece of paper, which according to Alex Drouin, an established game animator, occurs after a lot of "brainstorming, chilling, playing, planning and testing" with the programmer. But when the busy work is done, the video game animator will finally get a chance to do what he or she does best... animate. Alex Drouin says the thing he liked best about his job was "being able to come there late in the morning, sit behind his computer, put on a great CD, and then create crazy animation that will end up in a game that will be seen all around the world by gamers." Now, wouldn't it be nice if you could get a job like that? With a video game degree it is certainly possible!
4) Sound Designer
Sound designers are responsible for creating the music and sound effects of video games. Video game music is created either from digital sources or real-life orchestration. As video game consoles become more advanced, many sound designers favor the latter when deciding on what type of music they want in the games they are working on. Creating appropriate sound effects, on the other hand, sometimes requires more creative experimentation.
To be successful at video game sound designing it is best to: 1) have an interest in both music and sound, 2) possess knowledge of recording technology and 3) be familiar with the types of music and sound used in today's most popular video games. A video game degree will help develop these talents and skills.
5) According to Gameinformer Magazine, a producer "functions as the glue that holds a development team together, seeing to a variety of organizational tasks ranging from budgeting and planning to input on the direction of the game itself."
A good producer must possess superior management and accounting skills. This is because not only does a producer have to work with people on a regular basis trying to get them to meet deadlines, but they are also responsible for the budget of the video game project. Not knowing how to best spend money, (a skill acquired through accounting and economics), could result in financial failure.
Indeed, producers have a lot on their shoulders, but it is still a suitable option for non-technical persons who desire to get into the game industry.
6) Game Designer
Video game designers are responsible for creating the 'experience' of a particular game. Evan Wells, a video game designer, sums it up by saying "the main tasks of the designer is to make sure the game is fun."
Wells further adds that game designers are responsible for macro and micro level design. Macro level design involves "figuring out the core mechanics of the game; the variety of level looks, power-ups, etc." Micro-design involves creating the "actual levels and the moment-to-moment gameplay within those levels... the enemies, the objects, and the particular way you encounter those enemies and objects."
Good game designers should obviously have an interest in video games along with some drawing and programming skills.
7) PR Manager
If you would like to explore the marketing side of the video game industry, then consider becoming a PR manager. PR managers are responsible for promoting video games. And according to Natalie Salmon, a PR manager for Midway, part of this process involves "learning about the game that is going to be announced." So this boils down at some point having to play the video game. Isn't that what you wanted to do anyway?
8) Fields not relating to video games
Each of the career paths discussed above are fields that are not limited to the video game industry. If you decide that you don't want to use your video game degree to find a job related to video games, you can always use it to market yourself for other types of jobs. Of course, you may want to take a class or two to get a certification to help further establish yourself in the latest technology, but this is recommended for anyone pursuing an IT career. Bottom line, a video game degree, (just like any other computer-related degree), WILL lay the foundation you need to teach you the basics for programming, testing, animation, software development and other skills that are pertinent to the business world.
Well, if you have a passion for these things then you should go where your heart leads you. But if you're taking these types of majors simply because it seems like the right thing to do, perhaps you should consider a different course of action: majoring in something you TRULY enjoy... something you could do hours on end without feeling like you are working at all. And if you are like many people, this 'something' would be playing video games.
That's right! You can actually get a job creating and/or playing video games. Below is a list of some of the careers available for those with a video game degree.
1) Video Game Tester
This is a position in which you truly would get paid for playing video games. According to Doug Doine, a game tester for Electronic Arts, as a game tester you would "go over different components of a game and look for things that just don't make sense." You would also "break the game," meaning you would "do things a normal user would do and inadvertently see something go wrong."
Doug Doine further adds that video game testing is a good place to start for young people who want to "break into the industry." To get such a position in it is best to have a "passion for gaming" and some educational background. Doug himself has a degree.
2) Programmer
According to Gameinformer Magazine, video game programmers are the "heart and soul" of the industry. They are the ones responsible for creating the code necessary for getting video games to function. And contrary to popular belief, their jobs aren't always easy. Video game programming often involves creating complex functions and algorithms often times more challenging than programs created in Corporate America. Thus a talent for mathematics along with a more analytically-inclined brain are absolute essentials.
Indeed, game programming may not be the appropriate course for everyone seeking a video game career, but if you were deciding to go into the computer field anyway, which job would be more enjoyable... coding the next Halo, or working on a boring, hum-drum piece of no-name software?
3) Animator
Animators are responsible for coordinating the movement of video game characters. Accomplishing requires more than drawing something on a piece of paper, which according to Alex Drouin, an established game animator, occurs after a lot of "brainstorming, chilling, playing, planning and testing" with the programmer. But when the busy work is done, the video game animator will finally get a chance to do what he or she does best... animate. Alex Drouin says the thing he liked best about his job was "being able to come there late in the morning, sit behind his computer, put on a great CD, and then create crazy animation that will end up in a game that will be seen all around the world by gamers." Now, wouldn't it be nice if you could get a job like that? With a video game degree it is certainly possible!
4) Sound Designer
Sound designers are responsible for creating the music and sound effects of video games. Video game music is created either from digital sources or real-life orchestration. As video game consoles become more advanced, many sound designers favor the latter when deciding on what type of music they want in the games they are working on. Creating appropriate sound effects, on the other hand, sometimes requires more creative experimentation.
To be successful at video game sound designing it is best to: 1) have an interest in both music and sound, 2) possess knowledge of recording technology and 3) be familiar with the types of music and sound used in today's most popular video games. A video game degree will help develop these talents and skills.
5) According to Gameinformer Magazine, a producer "functions as the glue that holds a development team together, seeing to a variety of organizational tasks ranging from budgeting and planning to input on the direction of the game itself."
A good producer must possess superior management and accounting skills. This is because not only does a producer have to work with people on a regular basis trying to get them to meet deadlines, but they are also responsible for the budget of the video game project. Not knowing how to best spend money, (a skill acquired through accounting and economics), could result in financial failure.
Indeed, producers have a lot on their shoulders, but it is still a suitable option for non-technical persons who desire to get into the game industry.
6) Game Designer
Video game designers are responsible for creating the 'experience' of a particular game. Evan Wells, a video game designer, sums it up by saying "the main tasks of the designer is to make sure the game is fun."
Wells further adds that game designers are responsible for macro and micro level design. Macro level design involves "figuring out the core mechanics of the game; the variety of level looks, power-ups, etc." Micro-design involves creating the "actual levels and the moment-to-moment gameplay within those levels... the enemies, the objects, and the particular way you encounter those enemies and objects."
Good game designers should obviously have an interest in video games along with some drawing and programming skills.
7) PR Manager
If you would like to explore the marketing side of the video game industry, then consider becoming a PR manager. PR managers are responsible for promoting video games. And according to Natalie Salmon, a PR manager for Midway, part of this process involves "learning about the game that is going to be announced." So this boils down at some point having to play the video game. Isn't that what you wanted to do anyway?
8) Fields not relating to video games
Each of the career paths discussed above are fields that are not limited to the video game industry. If you decide that you don't want to use your video game degree to find a job related to video games, you can always use it to market yourself for other types of jobs. Of course, you may want to take a class or two to get a certification to help further establish yourself in the latest technology, but this is recommended for anyone pursuing an IT career. Bottom line, a video game degree, (just like any other computer-related degree), WILL lay the foundation you need to teach you the basics for programming, testing, animation, software development and other skills that are pertinent to the business world.
Saturday, November 26, 2005
Stress Managment: Eight Tips for Busy Moms
Moms are some of the busiest people on the planet. From working a 9-5 job to getting the kids off the school or from attending soccer games to chaperoning a slumber party, a mom's feet never seem to stay still. Some moms are responsible for taking care of their aging parents as well.
With this almost frantic pace, increased stress levels can be a natural result. Stress can impact many areas of life such as work, family, and other relationships. Stress can cause one to experience irritability, impatience, and distractibility. For busy moms, stress management is a necessity. Here are eight tips to assist in living a more stress free life.
1. Determine, no matter what, to create time for self. For some busy moms, maybe it's a soothing bubble bath at the end of the day. For others, it could be a quick trip to the local Nail Salon. The activity really doesn't matter as long as busy moms take some time for themselves.
2. Listen to calm, soothing music on the way to work, while at work, and while going to sleep. Music has a way of calming and soothing the mind body.
3. Practice deep abdominal breathing periodically throughout the day. Breath in deeply through the nose pulling the belly button toward the spine, hold for a few seconds, and then slowly release. Busy moms will be pleasantly surprised at how this simple technique can result in a more relaxed body and mind. This can be done in any environment.
4. Take time to exercise. Exercise helps to increase self-esteem, decrease depression, increase concentration and energy, and gives one a greater sense of control over stress. Hitting the local gym is not always necessary. Taking a 15-minute walk around the neighborhood, taking walks on lunch breaks, taking the steps instead of an elevator, and parking farther away when shopping are examples of how busy moms can squeeze in exercise during the day.
5. Eat Healthy. There are foods that promote calmness and foods that increase stress levels. Busy moms can ask themselves if they are eating too much sugar and caffeine, and if they are getting enough protein. They can also evaluate if they are eating plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables and staying away from refined and processed foods. Healthy eating is very important for any busy mom. Taking a look at diets and making the necessary changes can result in increased optimal health.
6. Call a friend. For any busy mom, it is always important in life to have at least one relationship where they can just vent and know that a listening ear and unconditional acceptance will be given.
7. Practice Thinking Calmly. Everyone has a favorite place that is peaceful, soothing, and calm. When stress levels increase, busy moms can take a mental break and visualize that special place. They can take note of the sights, sounds, and smells. It is important to continue to do this until relaxation is felt. Busy moms will notice that the stress they are experiencing will be less and more manageable.
8. Have a sense of humor. We all are familiar with the saying, "Laughter is the best medicine." This is so true. Be willing to laugh at personal mistakes. Watch a funny movie. Share a joke with a friend. In other words, lighten up. It will make such a difference.
Busy moms can follow the above eight tips for a more stress free life!
With this almost frantic pace, increased stress levels can be a natural result. Stress can impact many areas of life such as work, family, and other relationships. Stress can cause one to experience irritability, impatience, and distractibility. For busy moms, stress management is a necessity. Here are eight tips to assist in living a more stress free life.
1. Determine, no matter what, to create time for self. For some busy moms, maybe it's a soothing bubble bath at the end of the day. For others, it could be a quick trip to the local Nail Salon. The activity really doesn't matter as long as busy moms take some time for themselves.
2. Listen to calm, soothing music on the way to work, while at work, and while going to sleep. Music has a way of calming and soothing the mind body.
3. Practice deep abdominal breathing periodically throughout the day. Breath in deeply through the nose pulling the belly button toward the spine, hold for a few seconds, and then slowly release. Busy moms will be pleasantly surprised at how this simple technique can result in a more relaxed body and mind. This can be done in any environment.
4. Take time to exercise. Exercise helps to increase self-esteem, decrease depression, increase concentration and energy, and gives one a greater sense of control over stress. Hitting the local gym is not always necessary. Taking a 15-minute walk around the neighborhood, taking walks on lunch breaks, taking the steps instead of an elevator, and parking farther away when shopping are examples of how busy moms can squeeze in exercise during the day.
5. Eat Healthy. There are foods that promote calmness and foods that increase stress levels. Busy moms can ask themselves if they are eating too much sugar and caffeine, and if they are getting enough protein. They can also evaluate if they are eating plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables and staying away from refined and processed foods. Healthy eating is very important for any busy mom. Taking a look at diets and making the necessary changes can result in increased optimal health.
6. Call a friend. For any busy mom, it is always important in life to have at least one relationship where they can just vent and know that a listening ear and unconditional acceptance will be given.
7. Practice Thinking Calmly. Everyone has a favorite place that is peaceful, soothing, and calm. When stress levels increase, busy moms can take a mental break and visualize that special place. They can take note of the sights, sounds, and smells. It is important to continue to do this until relaxation is felt. Busy moms will notice that the stress they are experiencing will be less and more manageable.
8. Have a sense of humor. We all are familiar with the saying, "Laughter is the best medicine." This is so true. Be willing to laugh at personal mistakes. Watch a funny movie. Share a joke with a friend. In other words, lighten up. It will make such a difference.
Busy moms can follow the above eight tips for a more stress free life!
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
5 Easy Ways to Diffuse a Temper Tantrum
You already know that your toddler is a whirlwind of emotions and excitement. Temper tantrums are a natural part of your child’s development and their way of working out their feelings the only way they know how. Here are five easy ways to calm your child (and yourself!) without giving in.
1. One of the best ways, heartless as it may seem, to quell a temper tantrum in progress is to ignore the child. By going into another room or a different location, you’re sending a message that their behavior is unacceptable and it won’t get them what they want. Since there’s no one around to hear them cry, they’ll stop almost immediately! Just make sure that they’re not in danger of hurting themselves or others while they’re working out their feelings.
2. Because temper tantrums are a way for your child to release their pent up emotions, you can help them express themselves more calmly by telling them how YOU feel. Saying things to them like “I feel sad when you call me names or say bad things to me” or “It hurts me when you throw things because that makes a mess and I have to clean it up.” Sharing your feelings openly and sharing what’s bothering you teaches your child that it’s good for them to respond in the same way.
3. If your child is throwing a tantrum because you took something away or won’t let them have something, refuse the urge to give in to them, no matter how loud they get. This kind of behavior is a way for them to test your patience and their boundaries. When you consistently give in to their demands, this reinforces the tantrum behavior, and it will only continue or get worse. Instead, tell your child in simple terms why you took the item away, or why they couldn’t have what they wanted at that time, and work through the anger and sadness together. This shows them that not only does crying not give you what you want, but also that you’ve set firm limits which can’t be crossed.
4. This may sound silly, but if your child starts throwing a tantrum, duplicate their behavior as loudly and obnoxiously as possible. Chances are, they’ll stop what they’re doing and wonder what’s gotten into Mommy or Daddy. This shows that their behavior is pointless, and perhaps even silly, and they won’t be as likely to do it again next time! Just be careful and don’t try this in a public place!
5. If you are in public when the tantrum hits, take your child to a quiet place where he or she can work out their feelings in private. Speak to them in an open, loving tone, and resist the urge to yell back. Say things like, “I know you’re mad. It’s okay to feel angry or sad and cry. But you can’t hit or act like that when there are people around. So let’s try getting out all our anger / letting out all our tears and having a good cry. This teaches your little one that not only are these feelings perfectly natural, but it also gives them the opportunity to work through the problem and release all those pent up emotions.
And Mom or Dad, it’s natural for you to get fed up, embarrassed or short-tempered when your child throws a tantrum. But instead of yelling out of frustration, focus on your child’s good behavior and praise them often for it. Your child mimics what he or she observes, so don’t think that a compliment goes unnoticed. Children are eager to please. By redirecting their temper tantrums into a channel of open communication and highlighting their best behavior, you’re setting a great example for them to grow into expressive, loving and respectable human beings.
1. One of the best ways, heartless as it may seem, to quell a temper tantrum in progress is to ignore the child. By going into another room or a different location, you’re sending a message that their behavior is unacceptable and it won’t get them what they want. Since there’s no one around to hear them cry, they’ll stop almost immediately! Just make sure that they’re not in danger of hurting themselves or others while they’re working out their feelings.
2. Because temper tantrums are a way for your child to release their pent up emotions, you can help them express themselves more calmly by telling them how YOU feel. Saying things to them like “I feel sad when you call me names or say bad things to me” or “It hurts me when you throw things because that makes a mess and I have to clean it up.” Sharing your feelings openly and sharing what’s bothering you teaches your child that it’s good for them to respond in the same way.
3. If your child is throwing a tantrum because you took something away or won’t let them have something, refuse the urge to give in to them, no matter how loud they get. This kind of behavior is a way for them to test your patience and their boundaries. When you consistently give in to their demands, this reinforces the tantrum behavior, and it will only continue or get worse. Instead, tell your child in simple terms why you took the item away, or why they couldn’t have what they wanted at that time, and work through the anger and sadness together. This shows them that not only does crying not give you what you want, but also that you’ve set firm limits which can’t be crossed.
4. This may sound silly, but if your child starts throwing a tantrum, duplicate their behavior as loudly and obnoxiously as possible. Chances are, they’ll stop what they’re doing and wonder what’s gotten into Mommy or Daddy. This shows that their behavior is pointless, and perhaps even silly, and they won’t be as likely to do it again next time! Just be careful and don’t try this in a public place!
5. If you are in public when the tantrum hits, take your child to a quiet place where he or she can work out their feelings in private. Speak to them in an open, loving tone, and resist the urge to yell back. Say things like, “I know you’re mad. It’s okay to feel angry or sad and cry. But you can’t hit or act like that when there are people around. So let’s try getting out all our anger / letting out all our tears and having a good cry. This teaches your little one that not only are these feelings perfectly natural, but it also gives them the opportunity to work through the problem and release all those pent up emotions.
And Mom or Dad, it’s natural for you to get fed up, embarrassed or short-tempered when your child throws a tantrum. But instead of yelling out of frustration, focus on your child’s good behavior and praise them often for it. Your child mimics what he or she observes, so don’t think that a compliment goes unnoticed. Children are eager to please. By redirecting their temper tantrums into a channel of open communication and highlighting their best behavior, you’re setting a great example for them to grow into expressive, loving and respectable human beings.
Monday, November 07, 2005
How to Teach Your Children to Cook
If you're ready to teach your children how to cook, here are some simple tips for teaching them the basics, and giving them skills that will last them a lifetime!
First of all, think safety. Any child that has to stand on a stool or chair in order to reach the stove is too young to cook. Start younger children off by letting them help set and clear the table, gathering ingredients, and stirring, mixing or adding ingredients.
Next, set rules about handling knives and other sharp instruments and handling hot pans or boiling ingredients. Some parents start teaching their children to cook by showing them how to make things that don't require cooking first, and then graduating to letting them make food in the microwave.
Create a relaxed atmosphere that is fun when teaching your kids to cook. Remember what it was like when you were learning to cook? Chances are, you made a few messes and broke a few dishes. It happens. Learning to cook should be fun, not drudgery, although there are certain responsibilities that go along with the privilege, such as cleaning up as you go along, and leaving the kitchen clean when you're finished.
Start with the basics. Show your kids what the different utensils are used for, and the right way to use them. Teach them about herbs and spices, and using the right ingredients for the right dishes. Cooking is a great way to learn fractions and chemistry, and your kids might not even realize they're learning while they're having fun!
Begin with simple recipes. There are some great cookbooks for kids on the market today, that include step-by-step instructions and pictures so kids can see what something's supposed to look like while they're assembling the recipe...let success build on success.
Give your kids a chance to shine. As they learn to cook more complicated recipes, let them be responsible for planning -- and cooking lunch or dinner one night. Letting your kids plan the meal -- and even shop for the ingredients will help them to realize and appreciate the effort that goes into cooking.
As your kids become more skilled, begin including foods from different cultures. Many recipes such as French crepes or Italian lasagna are not difficult to make, and your kids will develop an appreciation for many different kinds of food.
Especially for younger children, having tools that are their own size not only make cooking more fun, but make it easier for them to participate. Kid-sized kitchen utensils can be found at many department or specialty stores.
Make sure you take plenty of pictures -- you may not realize it now, but you're making memories that someday will be as delicious as that batch of chocolate chip cookies you're baking now!
First of all, think safety. Any child that has to stand on a stool or chair in order to reach the stove is too young to cook. Start younger children off by letting them help set and clear the table, gathering ingredients, and stirring, mixing or adding ingredients.
Next, set rules about handling knives and other sharp instruments and handling hot pans or boiling ingredients. Some parents start teaching their children to cook by showing them how to make things that don't require cooking first, and then graduating to letting them make food in the microwave.
Create a relaxed atmosphere that is fun when teaching your kids to cook. Remember what it was like when you were learning to cook? Chances are, you made a few messes and broke a few dishes. It happens. Learning to cook should be fun, not drudgery, although there are certain responsibilities that go along with the privilege, such as cleaning up as you go along, and leaving the kitchen clean when you're finished.
Start with the basics. Show your kids what the different utensils are used for, and the right way to use them. Teach them about herbs and spices, and using the right ingredients for the right dishes. Cooking is a great way to learn fractions and chemistry, and your kids might not even realize they're learning while they're having fun!
Begin with simple recipes. There are some great cookbooks for kids on the market today, that include step-by-step instructions and pictures so kids can see what something's supposed to look like while they're assembling the recipe...let success build on success.
Give your kids a chance to shine. As they learn to cook more complicated recipes, let them be responsible for planning -- and cooking lunch or dinner one night. Letting your kids plan the meal -- and even shop for the ingredients will help them to realize and appreciate the effort that goes into cooking.
As your kids become more skilled, begin including foods from different cultures. Many recipes such as French crepes or Italian lasagna are not difficult to make, and your kids will develop an appreciation for many different kinds of food.
Especially for younger children, having tools that are their own size not only make cooking more fun, but make it easier for them to participate. Kid-sized kitchen utensils can be found at many department or specialty stores.
Make sure you take plenty of pictures -- you may not realize it now, but you're making memories that someday will be as delicious as that batch of chocolate chip cookies you're baking now!
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Helping Your Child Through Their Teenage Years
Some folks say that the "teenage years are the toughest". For you and them! Growing up is a continual process filled with regular highs and lows. As a parent, it's expected. But what can you do to help through the tough times they might face down the road of life? Here are some quick tips for those parents that are struggling to understand their "troubled teens".
COMMUNICATION COUNTS!
While most teens can be pretty "tight-lipped" about many of their complicated issues they might be trying to handle or hash out on their own, simply taking the time to ask them what's bothering them or what's going on can REALLY help. Even if you don't have the best line of communication with your teen, or it has somehow broken down as they have gotten older, most teens are willing, and ready, to open up to you in most cases.
Remember to always LISTEN FIRST to what they have to say. While the topic of discussion may not seem that important in your eyes, teens see everything as a tragedy waiting to happen! To them, what they are going through is almost like the "end of the world" or at least the end of THEIR world. Most teens are self-centered, and so, the entire world as it relates to them, which is pretty much every single aspect of it, revolves around them. At least, in their thought process.
No matter how compelled you might be, DON'T INTERRUPT THEM! Let them get the weight of their concerns or problems off their chest without "butting in" irregardless of how upset you might be at what they are revealing to you. Yes, they are letting you inside their small, strange teen world, so be grateful. It will help to strengthen their trust in you not to EXPLODE on them and further open the line of communication between you both.
UNDERSTANDING AND COMPASSION
After your teen has revealed the crux of their current situation, HOLD YOUR TEMPER, no matter how bad it is. Let them know that despite their actions, you love them without boundary and always will. Try putting yourself into "their shoes" and look at the situation from their vantage point.
Without being too "preachy" explain to them that you too were once a teen and had some rough patches, or made poor choices yourself, but you made it through and so will they. Teens don't like being lectured. They get enough of that in school!
Your goal is to be friendly without being their friend. You are still the parent and as the parent, you MUST hand down disciplinary consequences for their actions. Do your best to not blur this thin line. It will just make things more difficult for you both later on.
Also, remember, that the point here is to let them understand that you are ALWAYS available to listen when they are having problems. And through your life experience you are ready with solutions to those problems.
GET HELP OUTSIDE THE FAMILY
If your teen's particular situation is too much for you to effectively offer a solution or help them, don't be afraid to ask for help elsewhere. There are outstanding organizations out there ready to help. You can find just the right one by searching through the Yellow Pages or doing a topic search online to get in touch with the proper organization.
It's important for the health and well-being of your teen to do everything in your power to help. Also keep in mind that whatever the age, unless your teen is willing to TRY then any outside help you seek will be fruitless.
There are other techniques you can use to "get through" to your teen, but these are some of the most helpful.
COMMUNICATION COUNTS!
While most teens can be pretty "tight-lipped" about many of their complicated issues they might be trying to handle or hash out on their own, simply taking the time to ask them what's bothering them or what's going on can REALLY help. Even if you don't have the best line of communication with your teen, or it has somehow broken down as they have gotten older, most teens are willing, and ready, to open up to you in most cases.
Remember to always LISTEN FIRST to what they have to say. While the topic of discussion may not seem that important in your eyes, teens see everything as a tragedy waiting to happen! To them, what they are going through is almost like the "end of the world" or at least the end of THEIR world. Most teens are self-centered, and so, the entire world as it relates to them, which is pretty much every single aspect of it, revolves around them. At least, in their thought process.
No matter how compelled you might be, DON'T INTERRUPT THEM! Let them get the weight of their concerns or problems off their chest without "butting in" irregardless of how upset you might be at what they are revealing to you. Yes, they are letting you inside their small, strange teen world, so be grateful. It will help to strengthen their trust in you not to EXPLODE on them and further open the line of communication between you both.
UNDERSTANDING AND COMPASSION
After your teen has revealed the crux of their current situation, HOLD YOUR TEMPER, no matter how bad it is. Let them know that despite their actions, you love them without boundary and always will. Try putting yourself into "their shoes" and look at the situation from their vantage point.
Without being too "preachy" explain to them that you too were once a teen and had some rough patches, or made poor choices yourself, but you made it through and so will they. Teens don't like being lectured. They get enough of that in school!
Your goal is to be friendly without being their friend. You are still the parent and as the parent, you MUST hand down disciplinary consequences for their actions. Do your best to not blur this thin line. It will just make things more difficult for you both later on.
Also, remember, that the point here is to let them understand that you are ALWAYS available to listen when they are having problems. And through your life experience you are ready with solutions to those problems.
GET HELP OUTSIDE THE FAMILY
If your teen's particular situation is too much for you to effectively offer a solution or help them, don't be afraid to ask for help elsewhere. There are outstanding organizations out there ready to help. You can find just the right one by searching through the Yellow Pages or doing a topic search online to get in touch with the proper organization.
It's important for the health and well-being of your teen to do everything in your power to help. Also keep in mind that whatever the age, unless your teen is willing to TRY then any outside help you seek will be fruitless.
There are other techniques you can use to "get through" to your teen, but these are some of the most helpful.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
How to Put Boundaries in Place for Your Child
Some days it's hard to know what the best ways of teaching your children about discipline and the consequences of misbehaving really are. There are as many different parenting choices today as there are books on the subject.
However, one of the simplest and yet effective methods of disciplining your children and teaching them self-control, is to use "If" and "Then" consequences. If your family is in constant turmoil because of unacceptable behavior, or if you're tired of not having your kids mind you unless you scream and yell and lose your temper, you owe it to your family to give this a try. It's been proven to bring about quick changes, even in the most stubborn or behavior-challenged child.
However, before beginning to use this method, there are a few ground rules that you need to understand.
1. There is a world of difference between "punishing" your child and "disciplining" her. By its nature, punishment is meant to show power and strength, but little love. Discipline teaches a child what behavior they exhibited that was unacceptable, and helps them to understand why. They also learn what you want them to do next time.
2. Never discipline your child when you are angry or upset.
3. Always tell your child that it's the behavior -- not her, that's unacceptable.
4. Make the consequences of your child's action appropriate to the behavior, and make them immediate. (Also make sure that the consequences are something you both can live with. Telling your child that you'll leave her home for the next outing when you -- and she -- know that you won't, is not effective).
5. Be consistent.
"If" and "then" consequences are simple. Make a list of the behaviors you want your child to exhibit. Then make a list of the "unacceptable" behaviors. Create a "consequence" for each unacceptable behavior that is instantaneous, is appropriate to the misbehavior and takes away something the child values (preferably related to the misbehavior). This can be anything from watching television or playing video games, to spending time with friends or going somewhere special.
Now make a list of privileges your child can earn from acceptable behavior. Don't try to change every bad habit your child has developed all at once. You could start by picking one or two, but no more than three.
Once you know what each consequence or reward is, schedule a time to talk to your child. Make sure that it's a time that you are relaxed and calm, and so is your child.
Keep the discussion brief, and make it appropriate to her age level. Let her know that you love her, and because of your love, that the two of you are going to work on changing some unacceptable behaviors.
Discuss your own behavior first. Talk honestly to your child about how getting angry and your actions makes you feel. Tell her which behaviors you exhibit at those times that you want to change, and how you'd rather behave. Then move to her behavior, and explain which behaviors are unacceptable. Explain why the behavior is unacceptable (again, put the discussion on her level). Just make sure to keep it upbeat, and fairly short. Don't get angry or upset, and remember that this isn't about blame or punishment.
If your child can read, giving her a written list of the rewards and consequences may help her to process the new system. If your child doesn't read, or isn't receptive to the new methods, don't give up hope. One of the secrets to success is consistency on your part.
One of the reasons that this method works so well and so quickly, is because it targets the behaviors, and clearly lays out the consequences for each. After your discussion, if your child chooses inappropriate behaviors, she knows already what the consequences are, and you are no longer the "bad guy".
Don't expect that everything is going to change all at once. In fact, you should expect to remind your child for several weeks of the consequences for negative behavior.
For example, if you have a child who frequently has temper tantrums in the grocery store, then before taking her with you, remind her of the reward for good behavior "If you accept a "no" answer if I can't buy you everything you want while we're in the store this afternoon, then I will let you choose the cereal you want." (Again, make the reward appropriate and something that she values).
Right before going into the store, stop and talk to her again, only this time, remind her of the negative consequence. "If you throw a temper tantrum once we're in the store, then the consequence is that we will leave the store right away, and you won't get to choose your favorite cereal."
And every time your child exhibits the behavior you want and expect, praise her for it. "I'm really proud of you, honey! We went into the grocery store, and even though I had to tell you that we couldn't get the ice cream, you accepted the 'no' answer. Your behavior was exactly right. Now, let's go choose your favorite cereal!"
As your child learns that you are going to remain consistent with this new system, and understands the consequences of negative behaviors, most behavior problems begin to noticeably decrease.
The consequences of positive behavior are that you and your child will communicate with each other better and there will be fewer power struggles and more quality family time.
However, one of the simplest and yet effective methods of disciplining your children and teaching them self-control, is to use "If" and "Then" consequences. If your family is in constant turmoil because of unacceptable behavior, or if you're tired of not having your kids mind you unless you scream and yell and lose your temper, you owe it to your family to give this a try. It's been proven to bring about quick changes, even in the most stubborn or behavior-challenged child.
However, before beginning to use this method, there are a few ground rules that you need to understand.
1. There is a world of difference between "punishing" your child and "disciplining" her. By its nature, punishment is meant to show power and strength, but little love. Discipline teaches a child what behavior they exhibited that was unacceptable, and helps them to understand why. They also learn what you want them to do next time.
2. Never discipline your child when you are angry or upset.
3. Always tell your child that it's the behavior -- not her, that's unacceptable.
4. Make the consequences of your child's action appropriate to the behavior, and make them immediate. (Also make sure that the consequences are something you both can live with. Telling your child that you'll leave her home for the next outing when you -- and she -- know that you won't, is not effective).
5. Be consistent.
"If" and "then" consequences are simple. Make a list of the behaviors you want your child to exhibit. Then make a list of the "unacceptable" behaviors. Create a "consequence" for each unacceptable behavior that is instantaneous, is appropriate to the misbehavior and takes away something the child values (preferably related to the misbehavior). This can be anything from watching television or playing video games, to spending time with friends or going somewhere special.
Now make a list of privileges your child can earn from acceptable behavior. Don't try to change every bad habit your child has developed all at once. You could start by picking one or two, but no more than three.
Once you know what each consequence or reward is, schedule a time to talk to your child. Make sure that it's a time that you are relaxed and calm, and so is your child.
Keep the discussion brief, and make it appropriate to her age level. Let her know that you love her, and because of your love, that the two of you are going to work on changing some unacceptable behaviors.
Discuss your own behavior first. Talk honestly to your child about how getting angry and your actions makes you feel. Tell her which behaviors you exhibit at those times that you want to change, and how you'd rather behave. Then move to her behavior, and explain which behaviors are unacceptable. Explain why the behavior is unacceptable (again, put the discussion on her level). Just make sure to keep it upbeat, and fairly short. Don't get angry or upset, and remember that this isn't about blame or punishment.
If your child can read, giving her a written list of the rewards and consequences may help her to process the new system. If your child doesn't read, or isn't receptive to the new methods, don't give up hope. One of the secrets to success is consistency on your part.
One of the reasons that this method works so well and so quickly, is because it targets the behaviors, and clearly lays out the consequences for each. After your discussion, if your child chooses inappropriate behaviors, she knows already what the consequences are, and you are no longer the "bad guy".
Don't expect that everything is going to change all at once. In fact, you should expect to remind your child for several weeks of the consequences for negative behavior.
For example, if you have a child who frequently has temper tantrums in the grocery store, then before taking her with you, remind her of the reward for good behavior "If you accept a "no" answer if I can't buy you everything you want while we're in the store this afternoon, then I will let you choose the cereal you want." (Again, make the reward appropriate and something that she values).
Right before going into the store, stop and talk to her again, only this time, remind her of the negative consequence. "If you throw a temper tantrum once we're in the store, then the consequence is that we will leave the store right away, and you won't get to choose your favorite cereal."
And every time your child exhibits the behavior you want and expect, praise her for it. "I'm really proud of you, honey! We went into the grocery store, and even though I had to tell you that we couldn't get the ice cream, you accepted the 'no' answer. Your behavior was exactly right. Now, let's go choose your favorite cereal!"
As your child learns that you are going to remain consistent with this new system, and understands the consequences of negative behaviors, most behavior problems begin to noticeably decrease.
The consequences of positive behavior are that you and your child will communicate with each other better and there will be fewer power struggles and more quality family time.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Allowing Your Child To Surf the Net Safely
The Internet has changed our world forever. Information on any subject is available 24/7. There are very few restrictions on what people can put on the Internet which means there are many sites totally unsuitable for children. Unfortunately, there are also unscrupulous people in cyberspace who will happily take advantage of children.
To keep your children safe on the Net set some basic rules for them. Discuss these rules with your children and make sure they are totally clear about the rules and that the rules are non-negotiable (computer privileges can be suspended when rules are broken).
It may be necessary to make rules that are appropriate to the age of the child. For smaller children pin a copy of your family Internet rules near the computer. Discuss as a family, what sites you consider inappropriate and why.
Supervision of computer usage is vital. Again, this may need to be altered to suit the age of the child, but even teenagers should have someone occasionally check the sites they choose to surf. If the computer is in their bedroom set time limits when it can be used and do random checks of what sites they are surfing.
Explain to children that they should never, under any circumstances, give out their name, age, address, phone number or any other personal details on the Internet. This is particularly true when visiting chat rooms. Also, children should never send their photo to anyone without their parents' permission. If you suspect anyone is showing an interest in obtaining private information from your child, stop using the site in-question and report the issue to the site manager. There is usually a contact email address on the website (or you can contact your Internet Service Provider).
Be aware of whom your child is making friends with on-line; just as you would with any friend they make off line. If your child resents you monitoring their on-line chats give them a choice of having chats monitored occasionally or not being allowed to use chats at all. Emphasize you are doing it for their safety.
Another option to enable children to surf the net safely is to install software which will filter what content your child can access on the Net. These generally work by preventing entry to sites whose names contain keywords that you put on a banned list. While these can be very useful in some instances, they can prevent older children viewing legitimate sites that they may need to access for homework.
You can also alter settings on your computer's Internet Browser to prevent some sites from being accessed. Check with your Internet Service Provider to see if they may also offer some form of protection.
The Internet is a tool which when carefully used can be of great benefit. Our children have never known a world without the Internet and it's up to each of us to ensure their safety in this exciting (and challenging) new technological world.
To keep your children safe on the Net set some basic rules for them. Discuss these rules with your children and make sure they are totally clear about the rules and that the rules are non-negotiable (computer privileges can be suspended when rules are broken).
It may be necessary to make rules that are appropriate to the age of the child. For smaller children pin a copy of your family Internet rules near the computer. Discuss as a family, what sites you consider inappropriate and why.
Supervision of computer usage is vital. Again, this may need to be altered to suit the age of the child, but even teenagers should have someone occasionally check the sites they choose to surf. If the computer is in their bedroom set time limits when it can be used and do random checks of what sites they are surfing.
Explain to children that they should never, under any circumstances, give out their name, age, address, phone number or any other personal details on the Internet. This is particularly true when visiting chat rooms. Also, children should never send their photo to anyone without their parents' permission. If you suspect anyone is showing an interest in obtaining private information from your child, stop using the site in-question and report the issue to the site manager. There is usually a contact email address on the website (or you can contact your Internet Service Provider).
Be aware of whom your child is making friends with on-line; just as you would with any friend they make off line. If your child resents you monitoring their on-line chats give them a choice of having chats monitored occasionally or not being allowed to use chats at all. Emphasize you are doing it for their safety.
Another option to enable children to surf the net safely is to install software which will filter what content your child can access on the Net. These generally work by preventing entry to sites whose names contain keywords that you put on a banned list. While these can be very useful in some instances, they can prevent older children viewing legitimate sites that they may need to access for homework.
You can also alter settings on your computer's Internet Browser to prevent some sites from being accessed. Check with your Internet Service Provider to see if they may also offer some form of protection.
The Internet is a tool which when carefully used can be of great benefit. Our children have never known a world without the Internet and it's up to each of us to ensure their safety in this exciting (and challenging) new technological world.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Getting Your Kids to Talk to You
Being a parent isn't easy. Some days just getting everyone in your family all together at the same time for dinner can seem like the "impossible dream". Between after school sports and clubs and working and errands and carpools, it's not surprising that almost half of the parents in a recent survey said they feel a growing distance between themselves and their children.
Today's children have more things to deal with than kids did even twenty years ago. Drugs, violence, mixed messages in advertising, peer pressure, packed schedules and outside activities all add to the pressure they face.
So how, in the midst of all this chaos, do you find time to talk to your kids -- and more importantly, have them talk back to you?
Here are several ideas that can help:
1. Eat dinner together as a family at least three times a week. Conversations flow easier when they happen around the dinner table. If your family is conversationally-challenged in the beginning, think of conversation starters before each meal. Plan a family vacation, letting each child talk about where they'd like to go, or what they'd like to do. Talk about current events, the latest movies or upcoming special events. Ask your children open-ended questions that have to be answered with more than yes or no.
2. Turn off the outside world. Set aside "family time" each night and have everyone turn off their phones, the computers and the television. Let your friends and extended family know that you won't be available during that time, and stick to it. Your kids (especially teenagers) may joke about it, but secretly they'll probably be delighted. Use this time to reconnect with each other. Watch a movie, play board games, take turns reading out loud, but whatever you do, do it together.
3. Cook at least one meal a week together. Even your youngest children can do something to help. If your kitchen is too small for everyone to fit, schedule a "helper" or have your children be responsible for different parts of the meal. Your family will grow closer during this time, and your kids may even start the conversations themselves. (You can always get the ball rolling by talking about things you did with your parents. While you may not be cool, chances are your kids think your parents are, and will be impressed).
4. Make it safe for your kids to talk to you. Let them know that you won't get angry or upset if they talk to you about what's going on. If they tell you something "off the record" then let it stay that way. (Emergencies and dangerous situations aside).
5. Listen to what they have to say. If you're working, or doing something else when your child starts to talk to you, they may give up if they know your attention is really somewhere else. Give your child the same courtesy that you'd give to a friend or acquaintance, by giving them your undivided attention when they're speaking.
6. Use active listening skills. Make sure that you understand what your child is telling you. Repeat what they told you and ask questions.
7. Set aside special time to spend with each child. It may be nothing more than taking one child at a time with you when you run errands, but let each child know that you value spending special time with them.
8. Be patient. Don't expect a "perfect" family. If you're not June Cleaver and your husband isn't Howard Cunningham, it's okay. Just remember that perfect families really don't exist outside of television re-runs.
Just keep trying, and you'll learn the art of conversation with your kids isn't as hard as you thought!
Today's children have more things to deal with than kids did even twenty years ago. Drugs, violence, mixed messages in advertising, peer pressure, packed schedules and outside activities all add to the pressure they face.
So how, in the midst of all this chaos, do you find time to talk to your kids -- and more importantly, have them talk back to you?
Here are several ideas that can help:
1. Eat dinner together as a family at least three times a week. Conversations flow easier when they happen around the dinner table. If your family is conversationally-challenged in the beginning, think of conversation starters before each meal. Plan a family vacation, letting each child talk about where they'd like to go, or what they'd like to do. Talk about current events, the latest movies or upcoming special events. Ask your children open-ended questions that have to be answered with more than yes or no.
2. Turn off the outside world. Set aside "family time" each night and have everyone turn off their phones, the computers and the television. Let your friends and extended family know that you won't be available during that time, and stick to it. Your kids (especially teenagers) may joke about it, but secretly they'll probably be delighted. Use this time to reconnect with each other. Watch a movie, play board games, take turns reading out loud, but whatever you do, do it together.
3. Cook at least one meal a week together. Even your youngest children can do something to help. If your kitchen is too small for everyone to fit, schedule a "helper" or have your children be responsible for different parts of the meal. Your family will grow closer during this time, and your kids may even start the conversations themselves. (You can always get the ball rolling by talking about things you did with your parents. While you may not be cool, chances are your kids think your parents are, and will be impressed).
4. Make it safe for your kids to talk to you. Let them know that you won't get angry or upset if they talk to you about what's going on. If they tell you something "off the record" then let it stay that way. (Emergencies and dangerous situations aside).
5. Listen to what they have to say. If you're working, or doing something else when your child starts to talk to you, they may give up if they know your attention is really somewhere else. Give your child the same courtesy that you'd give to a friend or acquaintance, by giving them your undivided attention when they're speaking.
6. Use active listening skills. Make sure that you understand what your child is telling you. Repeat what they told you and ask questions.
7. Set aside special time to spend with each child. It may be nothing more than taking one child at a time with you when you run errands, but let each child know that you value spending special time with them.
8. Be patient. Don't expect a "perfect" family. If you're not June Cleaver and your husband isn't Howard Cunningham, it's okay. Just remember that perfect families really don't exist outside of television re-runs.
Just keep trying, and you'll learn the art of conversation with your kids isn't as hard as you thought!
Saturday, September 24, 2005
The Art of Getting Your Kids to Talk to You
Being a parent isn't easy. Some days just getting everyone in your family all together at the same time for dinner can seem like the "impossible dream". Between after school sports and clubs and working and errands and carpools, it's not surprising that almost half of the parents in a recent survey said they feel a growing distance between themselves and their children.
Today's children have more things to deal with than kids did even twenty years ago. Drugs, violence, mixed messages in advertising, peer pressure, packed schedules and outside activities all add to the pressure they face.
So how, in the midst of all this chaos, do you find time to talk to your kids -- and more importantly, have them talk back to you?
Here are several ideas that can help:
1. Eat dinner together as a family at least three times a week. Conversations flow easier when they happen around the dinner table. If your family is conversationally-challenged in the beginning, think of conversation starters before each meal. Plan a family vacation, letting each child talk about where they'd like to go, or what they'd like to do. Talk about current events, the latest movies or upcoming special events. Ask your children open-ended questions that have to be answered with more than yes or no.
2. Turn off the outside world. Set aside "family time" each night and have everyone turn off their phones, the computers and the television. Let your friends and extended family know that you won't be available during that time, and stick to it. Your kids (especially teenagers) may joke about it, but secretly they'll probably be delighted. Use this time to reconnect with each other. Watch a movie, play board games, take turns reading out loud, but whatever you do, do it together.
3. Cook at least one meal a week together. Even your youngest children can do something to help. If your kitchen is too small for everyone to fit, schedule a "helper" or have your children be responsible for different parts of the meal. Your family will grow closer during this time, and your kids may even start the conversations themselves. (You can always get the ball rolling by talking about things you did with your parents. While you may not be cool, chances are your kids think your parents are, and will be impressed).
4. Make it safe for your kids to talk to you. Let them know that you won't get angry or upset if they talk to you about what's going on. If they tell you something "off the record" then let it stay that way. (Emergencies and dangerous situations aside).
5. Listen to what they have to say. If you're working, or doing something else when your child starts to talk to you, they may give up if they know your attention is really somewhere else. Give your child the same courtesy that you'd give to a friend or acquaintance, by giving them your undivided attention when they're speaking.
6. Use active listening skills. Make sure that you understand what your child is telling you. Repeat what they told you and ask questions.
7. Set aside special time to spend with each child. It may be nothing more than taking one child at a time with you when you run errands, but let each child know that you value spending special time with them.
8. Be patient. Don't expect a "perfect" family. If you're not June Cleaver and your husband isn't Howard Cunningham, it's okay. Just remember that perfect families really don't exist outside of television re-runs.
Just keep trying, and you'll learn the art of conversation with your kids isn't as hard as you thought!
Today's children have more things to deal with than kids did even twenty years ago. Drugs, violence, mixed messages in advertising, peer pressure, packed schedules and outside activities all add to the pressure they face.
So how, in the midst of all this chaos, do you find time to talk to your kids -- and more importantly, have them talk back to you?
Here are several ideas that can help:
1. Eat dinner together as a family at least three times a week. Conversations flow easier when they happen around the dinner table. If your family is conversationally-challenged in the beginning, think of conversation starters before each meal. Plan a family vacation, letting each child talk about where they'd like to go, or what they'd like to do. Talk about current events, the latest movies or upcoming special events. Ask your children open-ended questions that have to be answered with more than yes or no.
2. Turn off the outside world. Set aside "family time" each night and have everyone turn off their phones, the computers and the television. Let your friends and extended family know that you won't be available during that time, and stick to it. Your kids (especially teenagers) may joke about it, but secretly they'll probably be delighted. Use this time to reconnect with each other. Watch a movie, play board games, take turns reading out loud, but whatever you do, do it together.
3. Cook at least one meal a week together. Even your youngest children can do something to help. If your kitchen is too small for everyone to fit, schedule a "helper" or have your children be responsible for different parts of the meal. Your family will grow closer during this time, and your kids may even start the conversations themselves. (You can always get the ball rolling by talking about things you did with your parents. While you may not be cool, chances are your kids think your parents are, and will be impressed).
4. Make it safe for your kids to talk to you. Let them know that you won't get angry or upset if they talk to you about what's going on. If they tell you something "off the record" then let it stay that way. (Emergencies and dangerous situations aside).
5. Listen to what they have to say. If you're working, or doing something else when your child starts to talk to you, they may give up if they know your attention is really somewhere else. Give your child the same courtesy that you'd give to a friend or acquaintance, by giving them your undivided attention when they're speaking.
6. Use active listening skills. Make sure that you understand what your child is telling you. Repeat what they told you and ask questions.
7. Set aside special time to spend with each child. It may be nothing more than taking one child at a time with you when you run errands, but let each child know that you value spending special time with them.
8. Be patient. Don't expect a "perfect" family. If you're not June Cleaver and your husband isn't Howard Cunningham, it's okay. Just remember that perfect families really don't exist outside of television re-runs.
Just keep trying, and you'll learn the art of conversation with your kids isn't as hard as you thought!
Monday, August 15, 2005
Grandparenting in the 21st Century
As if the stress of raising kids in today's hustle-bustle world isn't enough, with both of you working and the price of everything going through the roof; let's add to your family situation a couple of well-intentioned, "experienced" child-rearing experts.
I mean, after all, look at the fine job we did raising you.
For the purpose of this article, let's assume that you haven't, at least not yet, taken the easy way out and moved across the country---far away from "Grandma and Grandpa", "Grams and Gramps", or whatever pet names you have assigned us.
No, imagine that you are the fortunate ones who have these virtual "fonts of child-rearing knowledge" living right next door---literally or figuratively.
Quick, easy baby sitting service, right? Right! You've probably already discovered that nothing is ever "quick and easy" when "G......and G......" are involved.
Thanks to modern medicine and the AARP (Association for the Advancement or Retired People), G and G are probably nearly as busy as you are. The truth of the matter is that you will probably find yourselves called upon to house and pet sit on an all-too-regular basis, as these two aged adventurers depart on one project after the other. There are, after all, cruises to be taken, many old friends to be visited, and plenty of beaches to be walked hand-in-hand at sunset/sunrise.
True, we weren't there for you as much as we would have liked during your formative years; but, please remember, we weren't there for ourselves much either. We somehow managed to shuffle careers with baseball and cheer-leading practice; housework with PTA meetings; sleep with sleep-overs and birthday parties. You know the drill. You're living it right now.
Forgive us please if we sometimes seem a bit jealous of our time. Do you remember all of the things we predicted that you would understand when you grew up and had your own family? Trust us on this one too then, when we say that you will also, someday, understand where we are right now. That understanding will come all too soon.
Right now, you assume as we did, that you have years and years to go.
Do you remember the day you were born? How about the day you finished high school, then college? Can you remember three days BEFORE your wedding? You remember some; but, we remember it ALL. And do you know what? From our current perspective, it all happened in an instant.
And now, for most of us, that "instant" contains over 50 years of change. Remember also, that many of us are "old hippies" at heart; and, Viagra not withstanding, many of us still retain that mindset. We were the "Make Love, Not War" generation-----something you have only read about in your history books; along with Vietnam, the Cold War, John Fitzgerald Kennedy, "......A giant step for mankind", Martin Luther King and Bobby Kennedy, Sputnik and CHALLENGER; and a host of other mind-boggling, life-altering, belief-challenging experiences.
We know that we're not unique. Each generation somehow survives its "defining moments". Our parents had World War Two and "the bomb". Their parents had World War One and The Great Depression.
You've already had Iran and Iraq, Y2K, and September 11th; and you are living in a world that has changed forever.
You'll survive; our grandkids will survive and thrive, as will their children. We just want you to know how blessed we feel to be able to continue sharing in this adventure.
Please bear with us if we don't always fit the traditional "G....and G...." stereotype. It's a brand new century for all of us.
Bear with us also if we seem to think that we have imperfect children.....and perfect grandchildren. You can take some comfort from the fact that our parents held the very same thought. Something else that you will understand.......all too soon.
Thanks so much to all of you; for being you.....and of our life.
I mean, after all, look at the fine job we did raising you.
For the purpose of this article, let's assume that you haven't, at least not yet, taken the easy way out and moved across the country---far away from "Grandma and Grandpa", "Grams and Gramps", or whatever pet names you have assigned us.
No, imagine that you are the fortunate ones who have these virtual "fonts of child-rearing knowledge" living right next door---literally or figuratively.
Quick, easy baby sitting service, right? Right! You've probably already discovered that nothing is ever "quick and easy" when "G......and G......" are involved.
Thanks to modern medicine and the AARP (Association for the Advancement or Retired People), G and G are probably nearly as busy as you are. The truth of the matter is that you will probably find yourselves called upon to house and pet sit on an all-too-regular basis, as these two aged adventurers depart on one project after the other. There are, after all, cruises to be taken, many old friends to be visited, and plenty of beaches to be walked hand-in-hand at sunset/sunrise.
True, we weren't there for you as much as we would have liked during your formative years; but, please remember, we weren't there for ourselves much either. We somehow managed to shuffle careers with baseball and cheer-leading practice; housework with PTA meetings; sleep with sleep-overs and birthday parties. You know the drill. You're living it right now.
Forgive us please if we sometimes seem a bit jealous of our time. Do you remember all of the things we predicted that you would understand when you grew up and had your own family? Trust us on this one too then, when we say that you will also, someday, understand where we are right now. That understanding will come all too soon.
Right now, you assume as we did, that you have years and years to go.
Do you remember the day you were born? How about the day you finished high school, then college? Can you remember three days BEFORE your wedding? You remember some; but, we remember it ALL. And do you know what? From our current perspective, it all happened in an instant.
And now, for most of us, that "instant" contains over 50 years of change. Remember also, that many of us are "old hippies" at heart; and, Viagra not withstanding, many of us still retain that mindset. We were the "Make Love, Not War" generation-----something you have only read about in your history books; along with Vietnam, the Cold War, John Fitzgerald Kennedy, "......A giant step for mankind", Martin Luther King and Bobby Kennedy, Sputnik and CHALLENGER; and a host of other mind-boggling, life-altering, belief-challenging experiences.
We know that we're not unique. Each generation somehow survives its "defining moments". Our parents had World War Two and "the bomb". Their parents had World War One and The Great Depression.
You've already had Iran and Iraq, Y2K, and September 11th; and you are living in a world that has changed forever.
You'll survive; our grandkids will survive and thrive, as will their children. We just want you to know how blessed we feel to be able to continue sharing in this adventure.
Please bear with us if we don't always fit the traditional "G....and G...." stereotype. It's a brand new century for all of us.
Bear with us also if we seem to think that we have imperfect children.....and perfect grandchildren. You can take some comfort from the fact that our parents held the very same thought. Something else that you will understand.......all too soon.
Thanks so much to all of you; for being you.....and of our life.
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Dove Foundation Applauded for Reviewing Family Entertainment
Every spring school children across America bring home notices about the upcoming Dove Family Film festivals. For approximately six weeks, selected movies are shown for free to children 12 and under and for only $2 for adults. It’s a wonderful opportunity to see some age appropriate family movies without denting the family budget.
However the Dove Foundation, who sponsors the film festivals, does so much more than offer free movies. The Foundation is a non-profit organization established to promote and support the creation, production and distribution of wholesome family entertainment. The Foundation, which doesn’t operate under commercial pressures, awards a blue and white Dove Seal to any movie or video that is rated "family-friendly" by its film review board. The review board is made up of parents who have been trained to evaluate each film or video based upon Judeo-Christian ethics. To date they have approved over 3,000 videos and movies.
That amount of R-rated movies that have been released since 1968 is staggering. Of all films released since then, 60% have been rated-R. Parents are fervently seeking high quality, wholesome entertainment options for their families. They don’t want their children exposed to all the unnecessary sex, violence and anti-family values that runs rampant at the movie theaters and on their own DVDs. Now, because of the Dove Foundation, there is a reliable indicator to identify movies that are safe for family viewing. The Dove Seal makes it easy for customers to recognize titles that are safe for family viewing.
In addition to the film festivals and the review board, the Foundation also has a Children's Hospital Dove Movie Channel. The goal of this channel is to provide Dove-approved movies to hospitalized children. Day-time television is loaded with soap-operas and talk shows which are not geared toward the younger audiences. This Hospital Movie Channel is free to hospitals and provides a welcomed break for kids who have nothing to do all day long between treatments, therapies and surgeries.
Steve Allen, comedian, author, composer and former "Tonight Show" host says it best, "There is no doubt that our entire culture is experiencing a moral breakdown. People can get more family-friendly movies on film and television by supporting the Dove Foundation."
Don’t forget to look for the blue and white Dove Seal of approval while browsing the video stores! Also, if you’re interested in reviewing the Dove evaluations for a particular movie, visit http://www.dove.org.
However the Dove Foundation, who sponsors the film festivals, does so much more than offer free movies. The Foundation is a non-profit organization established to promote and support the creation, production and distribution of wholesome family entertainment. The Foundation, which doesn’t operate under commercial pressures, awards a blue and white Dove Seal to any movie or video that is rated "family-friendly" by its film review board. The review board is made up of parents who have been trained to evaluate each film or video based upon Judeo-Christian ethics. To date they have approved over 3,000 videos and movies.
That amount of R-rated movies that have been released since 1968 is staggering. Of all films released since then, 60% have been rated-R. Parents are fervently seeking high quality, wholesome entertainment options for their families. They don’t want their children exposed to all the unnecessary sex, violence and anti-family values that runs rampant at the movie theaters and on their own DVDs. Now, because of the Dove Foundation, there is a reliable indicator to identify movies that are safe for family viewing. The Dove Seal makes it easy for customers to recognize titles that are safe for family viewing.
In addition to the film festivals and the review board, the Foundation also has a Children's Hospital Dove Movie Channel. The goal of this channel is to provide Dove-approved movies to hospitalized children. Day-time television is loaded with soap-operas and talk shows which are not geared toward the younger audiences. This Hospital Movie Channel is free to hospitals and provides a welcomed break for kids who have nothing to do all day long between treatments, therapies and surgeries.
Steve Allen, comedian, author, composer and former "Tonight Show" host says it best, "There is no doubt that our entire culture is experiencing a moral breakdown. People can get more family-friendly movies on film and television by supporting the Dove Foundation."
Don’t forget to look for the blue and white Dove Seal of approval while browsing the video stores! Also, if you’re interested in reviewing the Dove evaluations for a particular movie, visit http://www.dove.org.
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
The Family that Plays (Games) Together
Depending on how old your children are, you’re either going to get a response of "Yippee" or one of "That is so stupid, I don’t want to play" when you announce the inception of game night in your house. Make it non-optional, but make it fun! It will be worthwhile and will create a bond you would have never imagined.
Plan aside one night a week where everyone will be home. If you don’t have one night where everyone will be there, you have a bigger issue and you need to juggle some things around so you have at the very least one night where the entire family is home.
Providing Mom or Dad’s back and knees can handle it, set up a blanket on the floor. This needs to be fun, not something the kids dread. Set up themes to play a game. Perhaps choose a Hawaiian theme. Have pineapples and things like that, everyone wears leis. Hey, even Sponge Bob lives in a pineapple under the sea!
Ok, so back to the theme. Each person needs to bring to the blanket an idea about the theme. For example, each person could talk about what they know or ask any questions they may have about Hawaii. (Or Sponge Bob trivia!)
The game itself doesn’t necessarily have to relate to the theme; just the atmosphere and conversation. You could be playing Yatzee, Life, Clue, Sorry, Chutes and Ladders, Don’t Spill the Beans, Uno, Texas Hold ‘Em, it doesn’t matter which game you’re playing. You could incorporate your theme into various intervals throughout the game. Every time someone lands on a yellow square everyone must take a bite of pineapple. Spin a ten and all must eat a macadamia nut! If you select the Go to Jail card, it’s your turn to do the Hula!
At the end of each game night, talk about next week’s theme. Family members can take turns choosing the theme and the accompanying snacks and décor. If it’s too much for one person to coordinate or if children are younger, these tasks can be delegated. Your three year old can decide she wants a clown theme complete with balloons and everyone will wear clown make-up. Your 7th grader made opt for an art theme and paint or draw the decorations.
This doesn’t have to be an expensive night at all. You can pick up new games at thrift stores and garage sales for $1.00. Most decorations you may already have around the house or can be picked up at the same places you’re getting second hand games or even the dollar store. Make it fun. Your children won’t remember and thank you for all the hours you put in a work, but they will always cherish the family time together. The family that plays together stays together.
Plan aside one night a week where everyone will be home. If you don’t have one night where everyone will be there, you have a bigger issue and you need to juggle some things around so you have at the very least one night where the entire family is home.
Providing Mom or Dad’s back and knees can handle it, set up a blanket on the floor. This needs to be fun, not something the kids dread. Set up themes to play a game. Perhaps choose a Hawaiian theme. Have pineapples and things like that, everyone wears leis. Hey, even Sponge Bob lives in a pineapple under the sea!
Ok, so back to the theme. Each person needs to bring to the blanket an idea about the theme. For example, each person could talk about what they know or ask any questions they may have about Hawaii. (Or Sponge Bob trivia!)
The game itself doesn’t necessarily have to relate to the theme; just the atmosphere and conversation. You could be playing Yatzee, Life, Clue, Sorry, Chutes and Ladders, Don’t Spill the Beans, Uno, Texas Hold ‘Em, it doesn’t matter which game you’re playing. You could incorporate your theme into various intervals throughout the game. Every time someone lands on a yellow square everyone must take a bite of pineapple. Spin a ten and all must eat a macadamia nut! If you select the Go to Jail card, it’s your turn to do the Hula!
At the end of each game night, talk about next week’s theme. Family members can take turns choosing the theme and the accompanying snacks and décor. If it’s too much for one person to coordinate or if children are younger, these tasks can be delegated. Your three year old can decide she wants a clown theme complete with balloons and everyone will wear clown make-up. Your 7th grader made opt for an art theme and paint or draw the decorations.
This doesn’t have to be an expensive night at all. You can pick up new games at thrift stores and garage sales for $1.00. Most decorations you may already have around the house or can be picked up at the same places you’re getting second hand games or even the dollar store. Make it fun. Your children won’t remember and thank you for all the hours you put in a work, but they will always cherish the family time together. The family that plays together stays together.
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